Hey CRUSH we met again

Finally, we met again after one year and six months. Well, its nice to met you again and looks likes you happy with your life now. I don't know. I guess. Its been long time since we don't contacted or see each other. Till we met that day, The day we met at that time, which I pretended that I don't see you and our friends. I just pretend to just walk away or passing by you guys. I don't know how to react when I approach you guys and especially you. By hearing that you guys keep on calling me makes me give up on my acting. Of course my response will be.. , "wow..we met again and I'm happy to met you guys..*big hugs, muah* with my girlfriends". Actually, I don't know how to react to you guys because they looks so happy to see me. Shaking hand with them and of course I will not going to shake your hands first but later after I done shakes hand and hugging with with our friends then I decided to came to you because I don't have any choice. I can't ignored you in front of our friends.. If I not going to shake you hand that will be very awkward for others to see it and of course I afraid they will noticed my action. So I just smile at you like normal but inside my heart no one knows. My heart is jumping and pumping so hard...huh..

Then I pretend to be busy again and left you guys there..actually I'm really busy with my job at that time but  you guys asked me to join the party tonight well, maybe our 1st reunion for the Christmas day. I can't just accept the offer because I wanted to make them begged for me to joined them. well I want attention and being an important guest, Yes, as expected.. they do. Then they're waiting for me to finished my job.. It's takes about one and half hours to completed my job. After that, I met them and join them at one of my friend's house. We had our reunion or party there. Yes, I had lots of fun with them and  in meantime I secretly stared at him while everyone busy talking with each other and I realized he also do the same things. I know I become different person now and pretend to be someone else. I'm pretending that we never be a close friend. Yes, its all because of you. I just want you to know that I can still be happy without you and I saw you becomes very close with one of our girlfriend. Of course you talked about her to me last time and I know you like her more and she is your crush..and if I'm not mistaken I heard she called you with pet name now..wow. sound so close. 

 but I realized you wanted my attention too..that makes me feel happy. Finally I can steal your attention. Yes, I know you want me to tell our friends that we are close friend but that is in the past and it almost two years ago when you left me behind. It's because of your girlfriend, you forget everything about me and lets me hanging there without words. Even though you never had feeling toward me but at least as a friend you should tell me and keep in touch with me so that we can stay as close friend but you choose to forget about me which make me feel dumped and pitiful. What I wanted to show you now is that I'm close with all of our boyfriend and its not only you that I am close with. You should keep that in your mind and I'm not going to begged for your love anymore because now you are just my history.

I think now you noticed that I left you and never will be close to you anymore. Yes, before I'm happy that we used to be close and the most important thing is that I had crush on you. Yes, You take my feeling for granted and now everything is over. No more attention for you and I wouldn't approach  you anymore. 

Yes, we had the chance to sit alone at that day just the two of us but its very awkward for both of us. we don't know what to say to each other. We totally different people now then we used to be. Yes, I realized that night you tried to comes to me and tried to talked to me but I acted cold and unfriendly to you. The words is unspoken and its hard to say even a word to you and I can't think about one, even to tell a funny stories which I am expertise in. I don't know what we should talk about because we already talked everything in five years ago. before, We used to talked over the phone for very long time and it can takes around four hours at one called and at that time I thought I knew you better then anyone else but I was wrong because the girl whom you had crush on, know you better then me. I don't know that you guys really that close.

I left the feeling I ever had for you behind and I won't look back anymore. Lets it slide and fade with the memory we ever had. Maybe I'm the one who make mistake or misunderstood your feeling toward me but I can't act how I am used to act before toward you. Even though you saw that I can act so friendly with our boyfriends but its different for the two of us because I used to like you not the other boyfriends and its easy for me to act more gentle or friendly with them because I never had feeling for them. Maybe some of our friends realized that we seem not too close and tried to act not too close but I just don't care anymore because some of them know that I used to had feeling for you. When you realized that my feeling for you is there right from the very beginning of our first conversation and that will be the moment when my feeling toward you is gone. You wasting the last chance and the chance will never come to you anymore and come to me as well. In my life there is no word called second chance. Everything is over now and its end for both of us. Anyways, I know you tried to makes me felt jealous when you act likes you like or interested in our other girlfriend but I know that is just an act because you saw how close I am with some of our boyfriends. You saw my true self that night without trying to be someone else. Yes, actually everything is just an act. I just want you to hate me and think that you never know who I am . I act how I used to be with my girlfriends without covered the word I wanted to said even it was dirty words because You will never know the true me actually.