My life is Lonely

It's been four and a half years since I broke up with my boyfriend and I never in relationship again. I'm lied if I said I never in relationship..of course I do but not special relationship..I just become good friend with someone. I don't wanted to have any relationship with someone again after I broke up four years ago because I'm afraid that I will hurt someone feeling again and I don't want something like that happened anymore. 

Hurting someone feeling will hurt me more and seem like I became mean girl. So, now as I been single about four and a half years I decide to find someone new and I hope that someone that I waiting will be my true love or my destiny or Mr.right. 

I live my life with no fun and I walked in my path without someone holding me and I was alone. I'm human and I need someone to love me and I wanted to be love and loving someone with my whole life.

I really wanted to have boyfriend, seeing my friend with their boyfriend make me envy of them and I wanted to feel the same feeling they felt. I need someone to protect me and to lean on. My life truly lonely...