Now I realized

Now I realized that I can't forget about you and my mind will automatically will think of you whenever people asked about my boyfriend. I know we are not in that kind of relationship and we're just close friend, in which I have been placed you in friend zone all the time along. I don't know why I do it that way and try to deny my feeling toward you. when I decide not to contact or stay in touch with you again, in which I believe I could and I thought you will came to me if your really want me but its not like that at all. From what I can see you can live without me and I am not that important to you because I can't see your effort on tried to steal my heart. when I let go of your hand, you also do the same.

I can't continued playing the game anymore, games of "play hard to get" and game which I am the only player. its really confusing and dying. I can say now that I can't lied to myself anymore, the decision I decided three to four month ago was the childish decision I ever made. I just wanna know whether I love you or its just a feeling to want someone to be by my side when I get bored. That is why I made the decision. Seems like its wasn't because I am loner but the love been plant in my heart for long time ago still there and its kept deep inside my heart perfectly. It just that I wanna denied it. maybe its to late to tell him now and I will take responsibility with my words that I will never regret on make the decision on leaving and lost contact with you because I believe in destiny.

If we're meant to be we'll eventually will come along and we'll be together someday but if we're not meant to be, I will take our relationship as a sweet friendship memories. I will treasure our friendship forever. I am not forcing you into a serious relationship. Lets hoping  and pray to God to worked on the plan for us, he know the best and He had plan in us. Lets walked through it together without forcing onto it. it will happen when its the right time. Lets walk in faith and God's love and guidance. Keep on believing and pray.