You, Me & Her

FATE! HURT!

After so long I haven't write in my blog, today I'm back and comeback for something that I really have to tell you on what happened to me this few months or this year. Maybe you are wonder too on what happened in my complicated love story and what happened to that guy that always caused me trouble and the guy that keep on playing with my heart but still I'm not completely blamed him on everything. Am I? whatever.. When you push someone off, don’t expect you’d be able to pull them back. What hurt the most is He never tried to stop you from leaving but He decided to ignored you all this time and He stop trying and I don't see His effort b to win your heart back. He really "HURT" me this time and not only that He move on so quickly but He forget you and hit on someone I knew and close to.

       Today I wanted to write a story between him, her & me. Her? Yes, her. There is someone else in this topic that I wanted to tell you. She is someone whom came between the two of us but this "she" is not someone that I ever told or mention previously. She is someone I have never imagined that can do something unexpected to me. She is not my friend but she is someone who is closer that that to me. Yes, she is my own aunt, she is one year older than me but most important she is my own "aunt", my dad first cousin. Yes, closer than you can imagine. Actually I will not going to be crazy mad if she can replaced me to be with him without her consent on my relationship with him but what hurt me the most is she knew everything. She knew everything from the start and what I can't accept even more is that I even told her what relationship I have with him and how long have it been for the two of us been known each other. Actually I have instinct that both of them have a "some" relationship since last year, as I saw this guy liking the post she posted and I wonder how come the two of them known each other as I never knew that they're not even close. I thought maybe they are just come to know each other from social media but my instinct is always right, maybe there is something going on between them. But I keep on denying worst thing because I knew she will never do something like that or she would back-stab me. 


        Last year everything that I trying to denied is now keep on showing the hint one by one, they keep on linked to each other. On the other side, my relationship with him is not like it used to be as I keep on ignored him because I thought he will always coming back to me and never that I thought that behind my back the two of them is seeing each other. I know I have no right to involved in their relationship but how would I have to act if that girl is actually knew so much about us but she choose to betray me. Honestly, It hurt so much to see him move on so quickly and knowing He is in relationship with someone you never thought will be. Few months ago, everything is so clear that the two of them have something that they not even try to hide from me, in-front of my own eyes,the two of them sitting side by side and without hesitated She look at me and just roll her eyes and sit beside him and I don't know how to react to that but my heart is burning like a fire. Its felt like someone stab my heart or my heart on fire but still I tried my best to act normal like nothing happened. Maybe I can forgive her if she don't aware about our relationship but what I kept on playing on my head now is there is this one time. This is during my relationship with him is still okay but She told me that he have relationship with other girl which is someone I knew (my own cousin) so because of this girl I told her I will end everything with him if he have "some" with her and I start ignored and avoid his call/text because of her. Everything started to not fine because of HER. I shouldn't listen and believe in her in the first place but because she have her own agenda things got worst between us. Maybe this is what we called "FATE". I shouldn't hold to him for too long and I should have let him go long time ago. What so special about him that I keep on want him. I have just lost my toy, someone I thought that will never left will gone forever because of my selfishness.. I shouldn't take someone for granted and I should have trust him in whatever situation. I would forgive nor forget what have they done behind my back. Forgive? No thanks, just live with that "guilty". You are not forgiven till I find my happiness and make you regret hurting me. Thank you for the hurt & memories. When you are heartbroken and hurt, don’t blame the other one, no matter how angry and devastated you are. Instead, think about all the good things you’ve had together and all the valuable experience you’ve got now and how you’ve become a different person (and that will hurt even more). Then, let it go and never think about that ever again. Being hurt by others doesn’t mean you should hurt yourself, too; being rejected doesn’t mean having to reject yourself; it’s not your fault. It means it’s time to thank them for the time you’ve had together, push them aside and move on.

But.....It going to hurt if I dont let go now. I hope one day you will realise how much you have hurting and giving me hope and expectation.

        After all that happened, I decided to block, remove and un-follow him on all the social media and not just him but all the people that have linked to him which mean his siblings. I decided to let go to forget and to move on from him even though my heart is still deeply in hurt. I have make my decision to let go from him But 2 months ago as my family keep on talking about him in-front of me. For what I have heard from my brother, He always hanging out with him and even stay at his place. My family thought the two of us still in relationship as I never mention anything to them and I cant event told them the true about what happen considering that my family is so closer to my aunt family but the truth is I am afraid of the reality. My brother is quite troublesome and he keep on making us worried about him to the point I have t contact him after few month not contacting each other as I desperately have to asked someone about my brother. You know what? We just pretending nothing happen, what I'm trying to said is we just pretended that how we used to be, so close but it feels so wrong. Maybe it just way for us to remember the past memories we had long time ago. Maybe I just wanted to proved that He still into me and cant live without me and wishing him to regret everything. It just my selfishness that com into my mind even though actually I dont want him. I just want him to be art of my lonely life. I do not know, who is the real "VICTIM" between the three of us. I think, now I can completely can "MOVE ON" from this useless and stupid relationship. This toxic relationship now not going anywhere and it wouldn't benefit me in any way. I will only going to keep on dreaming and hurting my hurt from the fantasy. Time to wake u from this dreamland and I decided to life my life to the fullest and enjoy every moment that left. One day, yeah...maybe one day I will find my own "HAPPINESS".  Thank the people who hurt you, because it’s them who make you better and stronger, but never trust them again.